


Insecurities

by team_free_daryl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 00:15:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16923075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/team_free_daryl/pseuds/team_free_daryl
Summary: Y/n doesn’t know Charlie, but she does know that she is spending an awful lot of time with her best friend and she can’t help how insecure it makes her.





	Insecurities

Walking into the library I see Sam sitting at the table reading something per usual though I couldn’t spot the other Winchester anywhere. Looking around the library my eyes land back on Sam as I ask, “Hey Sam, have you seen Dean?”

“Uh, yeah actually him and Charlie went to hang out for a little while I research a new case,” he explains glancing up at me before adding, “They’re close and plus she’s a lesbian so don’t worry.”

I know he was saying that because he knew I liked his brother and he seen the look in my eyes, but this was for different reasons. Both of them always talked good about Charlie though I have never met her myself. But that was because I never seemed to be around when she was. I was always helping someone on a case in some city or helping Bobby at his house, but it never seemed to bother me not meeting someone so close in the boys life. Deep down I was okay with it because I knew both of us would be pining to hang with the boys especially if it wasn’t for a case. I also didn’t know how it would feel if it came down to picking between the two and they didn’t pick me. It was my fault all the case’s came up or Bobby would need my help, normally I would have a warning, a chance to leave, “Why did no one tell me she was coming?” I asked eventually kind of confused about the guest.

“We weren’t expecting it,” Sam says with a shrug going back to the book. I nod even though he wasn’t looking at me and walk off towards my room hoping that whatever the two were out doing didn’t take very long. Me and Dean had plans today since Sammy was researching a hunt, we always hang out as much as we can before a hunt and we leave tomorrow for one.

//

By the time dinner rolled around neither of them were heard from at all, I for one was annoyed and hungry though I know I was the only one. I walked into the kitchen deciding on making something they could easily heat up whenever they decided to grace us with their presence before taking mine and Sam’s plates to the table he was still sitting in from earlier. When I handed him his plate he shot me a thank you going right back to work on the case digging into his plate without another word.

“So find anything new about the case?” I ask trying to make conversation with him.

“Uh, yeah actually it’s a simpler case than we thought it would be.”

“That’s great, Dean will be happy to hear we won’t be gone too long for this one.”

“Yeah he is, I kind of told him earlier when he called me to say he was taking Charlie to eat so we didn’t have to make extra,” Sam explained causing me to become confused and hurt though I pushed it to the side and nodded.

“So when are we leaving tomorrow, did he say?” “We um we are taking Charlie actually,” Sam begins to say

“Okay so when are we leaving?” I ask still not catching on to what he is implying.

“We are leaving in the morning, first thing. But Y/n we are taking Charlie and this hunt doesn’t need four people, you understand what i’m trying to say right?” Sam says finally, looking at me with an apologetic look.

I didn’t say anything else, I just nodded in response and finished my dinner not saying another thing as I headed back to the kitchen washing my dish before going back to my room. My thoughts were running a mile a minute in every direction though the only thoughts I could seem to focus on were the negative, ‘They don’t need you know more they have her, at least they won’t have to worry about her falling for one of them.’

‘You mess up all the time it’s for the better anyways.’

‘They’re not even going to notice you’re not there.’

‘They are probably just thrilled to be away from you’

//

I never heard Dean and Charlie come back to the bunker, I never even heard them leave, but when I woke up this morning when I woke up the bunker was completely empty. I walked to the kitchen to make some coffee and I found a note left on the counter,

We’re headed out, well will call to check in or if we need information. Sam.

Reading the note I went back to the real reason I entered the kitchen, the coffee. Once I had my coffee and some breakfast I walked towards the library to read up on what the boys were facing that way I could get some information built up for when they called. I ended up cleaning the whole bunker including doing both the guys baskets of dirty laundry and my own, but I was still yet to get a call from the boys which was worrisome since they normally called the moment they got there.

Just as I was about to call they boys a text came through my phone from Dean,

Just checking in, been here for an hour.

Everything’s great.

Not even a phone call from the boys, just two short messages to ease my worry. I felt a pang in my heart and went into my room to relax, bringing the books I’d need if they called with me.

//

They never called, I received two more text from them but that was all, one telling me they were leaving to take care of the witch and one telling me they finished and all was good.

Normally dean drove home the same day the hunt ended so I walked towards the kitchen to make them dinner for them to have when they got back. At around seven thirty I ended up eating without them so my food wouldn’t get cold, as I was eating my dinner my phone went off notifying that I had a message,

Took Charlie out, won’t be home until tomorrow.

This time it was Sam, and I had to fight the bite of my dinner I had just taken to stay down as the thoughts came back, ‘They never took you out’

‘You and Dean don’t even leave the bunker when you hang out’

‘Sam barely even hangs out, even when we are in the car he has a book’

My stomach does another flip as I push my plate away from where I was seated at the table. I understand that they missed her but it almost seems like they’re happier with her here rather than me. I had no urge to eat anymore after the message or even respond to the message for that matter, so instead I empty my plate into the trash and put the leftovers in the fridge. I walked to my room right after changing and going right to bed, knowing they weren’t going to call again so there was no need to wait up. Sleep didn’t come for a while though, my thoughts decided they wanted to light up like neons signs until almost midnight. Slowly the thoughts stopped and my eyelids got heavier though pulling me into a deep sleep.

//

When I woke up the next morning I knew I didn’t want to see the boys, or Charlie for that matter because she was the root of all this. Instead I head straight for the shower before getting dressed. Once I was ready I walked towards the kitchen seeing there was still no one here but you. I grabbed the same notepad Sam had left the note for me on a few days before ripping out a sheet to make a supply run list knowing that we needed to make a run soon. Once I wrote everything we needed I wrote a second note for the boys since I didn’t plan on coming right home.

Going out, will get supplies on the way back. If i’m not home for dinner there are warm ups in the fridge.

I didn’t bother with my usual signature instead I grabbed my keys and my wallet leaving towards town. I decided to go to a movie and lunch to treat myself, normally I wouldn’t because I would try to save my money instead of doing things like this. But if Dean can take a friend out twice without a care than I can treat myself for once. By the time the movie was over it was four o’clock so I decided to head to the supermarket and then back to the bunker.

//

Walking into the bunker I had both arms loaded with bags to prevent a second trip as I headed towards the kitchen with all the bags. The boys were finally home, I could tell because baby was in it’s normal spot. When I walked into the kitchen I began taking the things out of the bag to put away, I ended up putting everything away by myself which was weird since the boys normally helped when they’d hear me come in. Walking out of the kitchen I was met with the sound of laughter coming from the war room so I headed towards the room stopping in the doorway. I was met by the side of Dean, Sam, and a redhead sitting at the table with some form of take out in front of them. Sam was the only one who seen me at first though soon both Dean and who I assumed was Charlie turned following his gaze.

“Hey y/n/n, wasn’t expecting you home so soon by the sound of your note,” Sam said speaking first.

“Yeah if we did we would have picked you up something too,” Dean throws in speaking to me for the first time in almost four days.

“No, it’s completely fine. I’m just going to head to bed anyways putting everything away alone can be tiresome,” I say walking off towards my room not waiting for anyone to respond. By the time I was in my room the thoughts were taking over again, my cooking was no longer good enough or so it seemed. Dean went out the first night she was here and they ordered takeout this time when there was cooked food that all they had to do was heat up. Trying to shake off my thoughts I changed into my pajamas and grabbed my laptop slipping into my bed and picking a movie.

By the time my second movie ended I couldn’t ignore the rumble in my stomach for food any longer. So i rose out of bed for the first time in hours walking towards the kitchen to settle my stomach’s rumble. Walking into the kitchen I was met with the smell of the cherry pie I grabbed Dean earlier today and the sight of Dean himself sitting against the counter with the whole pie and a fork beside him. This was something he only did when he had a lot on his mind, and my first instinct was to comfort him and help him figure it out like I normally would. Instead I walked towards the cabinet pulling out a cup and heading towards the fridge to get a drink, grabbing a bag of chips in the process. The whole time neither of us said a word to the other. I was convinced I was going to be able to leave without a single word spoken until I heard, “What’s up with you, is this about dinner?” causing me to stop in my track.

Without turning around I replied, “There is nothing wrong and I don’t give a shit about dinner.”

“Then why are you acting like we don’t exist?” Dean asked almost angry causing me to whip around and look at him.

“I’m acting like you guys don’t exist? Im sorry Dean but I’m the one who was excluded from a hunt I helped find. I’m the one who got ditch when we were supposed to hang out before the hunt like we normally do. I didn’t even hear you guys leave for the hunt. You guys never called just quick text that I didn’t respond to, not that you cared. Hell I made your favorite for when you guys were meant to be back but you were taking Charlie out instead. I saved it so you guys could have a home cooked meal today if I wasn’t here to cook and you guys didn’t care and you didn’t even think to pick something up for me, anything, just in case I ended up coming home. Hell Dean I’m going to be honest with you we had been friends for a while now and we never leave the bunker to do anything non hunt related so it kind of hurt to hear you guys can take the time to do it for her. Especially since Sam doesn’t ever want to leave his books even in the car, but he will for her,” by the time I was done talking I was out of breath and fighting tear because I wasn’t going to let him see this effect me anymore.

I turned around after a minute of him not saying anything and walking back to my room my appetite gone now. I put my chips and my drink on the nightstand and crawled under my covers to curl into a ball. Dean didn’t even try to talk about it, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised after the past four days. I laid in my bed tears quietly falling for what felt like hours though it probably was only minutes when a knock made me stop my arms stilling near my face where they had just been wiping my tears away. I was hoping if I didn’t move whoever it was would leave, but the knocks came again this time followed by a voice, “Dammit y/n I know you’re up open your door,”

Dean was jiggling the nob trying to open the locked door as I sucked in a breath and stood from my bed walking towards the door, toward him. When I unlocked the door I had to jump back, an angry Dean barging through the moment the knob fully turned. I was shocked, I didn’t expect to see him this mad so when his voice boomed through my room my body jumped. “Are you seriously mad because we don’t take you out to hang out with you?”

“No Dean, I’m not even mad. Im hurt because you guys seem to care about her so much more. I mean I thought we were best friends but honestly I don’t know. Charlie came here and it’s like I don’t exist, I get it you guys are happy that she is here and that you guys don’t see her a lot but it would have been nice to be included. I have been fighting with the shit in my head since she showed up and you both left without a word, but you know what at this point I’m believing every thought I have. Yes it would be nice to go out, it would nice for you guys to want to do something with me outside the bunker but that doesn’t mean it has to involve money, it’s just the point,” I exclaim letting out a shaky breath no longer being able to hold back the tears.

Dean stood there again not saying anything just like he had in the kitchen earlier, but this time I wasn’t leaving. He started it he can end it at this point because I was beyond fuming. After what felt like forever he took a deep breath and began to speak,

“I didn’t know it mattered to you. We always just assumed you were happy with how it was, you never said anything to us.”

“I was happy, but that was because I thought you guys weren’t into going out. Now that I see I was wrong all I can do is feel like it was me,” I explain my voice breaking at the end causing me to turn away from him to go back to my bed.

“It’s actually the complete opposite sweetheart, Sammy finds things for us to do out of the buker and I tell him no. I don’t want anything to happen to you, it’s bad enough that I have no choice but let you go on hunts. I-”

“I’m not a child Dean I can go out and be able to make sure I’m safe at the same time and as for hunts I was doing it long before I met both of you so I don’t understand the issue.”

Dean let out an annoyed grunt exclaiming, “Because I fucking love you and I can’t stand watching you put yourself in that type of danger.”

“I love you too but you don’t see me cooping you up in the house like a child who needs twenty-four seven watch,” I exclaim back, the exchange of I love yous not registering in my mind until a minute after I said it. My cheeks heated up the moment I realized it though thankfully he couldn’t see my face.

But then his hand was on my arm spinning me to look at him, “what did you just say?” He asked I knew what part he was referring to so I repeated myself,

“I. Love. You”

“You-”

“I don’t want to hear that I shouldn’t. I heard you say it first,so we are not doing this right now. I can’t do this right now,” I explain cutting him off, tears still streaming.

He doesn’t say anything when he reaches up wiping the new tears away before pulling me into his chest, he doesn’t have to say it again though because I know he loves me.


End file.
